Misadventures on the Treadmill


They say that the only bad workout is the one that didn’t happen. Well, yesterday’s workout was a ‘not good’ one.

I’m in Armidale this week for work. I got back from the Gold Coast on Monday night, and left for Armidale on Tuesday morning. Because I was unpacking and packing at the same time, I managed to forget to pack a few things, including my toothbrush, and underwear.

I got home from work after 5.30pm last night, (after missing the turnoff to the Gwydir highway and travelling 80km out of my way,) too late to set out for a run by myself. So I headed to the gym at the university. When I got there, I went to get changed, and realized I had forgotten my lululemon running shorts. The ones with the built in undies. All I have are my long Lorna Jane tights, which I usually wear after a run, because they are not a good technical garment. Too thick, no pockets, not good for sweating in. So I throw them on, commando-style.

I went into the gym, to discover you needed to ‘book’ a treadmill. There is a whiteboard on the wall, and you just choose a free treadmill, and write how long you plan to run next to it. OK, that could be handy when it’s busy, knowing how long the wait is. I choose lucky #7, and lock it in for an hour.

About halfway into my run, I am sweating up a storm because I am not used to running in long tights, and it’s hot in there. I accidentally hit the emergency stop button on the treadmill. I HATE that button. I swear it has probably hurt more people than it has helped. The treadmill belt comes to a stop, but I don’t, because my arms are grabbing for the sides and my legs aren’t moving. And off the back I go. Not onto my arse or anything, I kind of land on my feet, but I went backwards off the treadmill in front of a gym full of people. Worst of all, the treadmill reset and I lost all my workout data!

I decide to jump on another treadmill. This one is clearly faulty. Only a few are occupied, so I chose a new one, next to an open window, hoping to get a breeze that might cool me down a little. Of course I got in trouble for that, because I had not booked this one. It’s not like they were all taken.

A few kilometres later, I reach for my drink bottle to grab a sip of water.  The bottle slipped straight through my hands, falls, hits the moving treadmill belt, and goes flying off the back, spraying water everywhere. In my haste to try and retrieve it before it has emptied its entire contents into a big puddle in the middle of the gym floor, my headphones get completely tangled up in my necklace. I never fully understand how this happens – I could not get them that entwined if I was practicing my knot skills, scout style.

And you can probably guess what happened next, yes, I broke my necklace trying to get it untangled. OK, that’s it! Game over, time for me to go home to bed before I hurt myself! So much for running curing my stresses of the day. Pass me the chocolate.

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